Thursday's Three Line Reviews

And here they are:


THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE:
Loosely based on a true story, this is more of a court case drama than a horror movie, though it did have some creepy scenes. I found it very entertaining and enjoyed it. Jennifer Carpenter was excellent as the possessed Emily Rose as she twisted her face and her body to give the character real freakishness.

CAST AWAY:
Great movie that is mostly centered around one character who is stranded on an island, unless you want to count Wilson the non-verbal Volleyball. I tried to think of any other actor that could possibly pull off carrying a whole movie by himself besides Tom Hanks and I couldn't. For a movie with little scenery, dialogue, or score it really can hold your interest.

THE SWEETEST THING:
This movie tries too hard to be a raunchy sex comedy for women and it just doesn't work out. I found Cameron Diaz and Selma Blair annoying and the whole plot just stupid. Christina Applegate is the only one who is worth watching.

JACK:
Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, this bittersweet movie about a boy who ages four times his actual age is good. Robin Williams is perfect with little subtle things that he does that convinced me he was really a ten year old. Bill Cosby should get more roles like the one in this one as he reminds us just how lovable he can be.

FRIDA:
Very artsy move about the Mexican Artist Frida Kahlo. Interesting and visually stunning. Salma Hayek is great in the lead, but still beautiful...perhaps too beautiful to play Frida.


9:
This animated movie about a burlap doll that comes to life in post-apocalyptic times where there are no humans alive is stunning. Mix Toy Story, Wall-E, and the Terminator all up and you get 9. This is NOT a children's movie, for it is very dark and dreary, but is imaginative and great story telling.

EXTREME MOVIE:
A bunch of crude sketches thrown together about teens and sex makes a silly late night movie. It has a lot of familiar faces in the movie, but it's really only worth watching if you are suffering from insomnia and there is absolutely nothing else to watch. It might be worth watching if you are a fan of the t.v. show PIT BOSS and want a quick glimpse of Shorty's ass (which I didn't and it took me by total surprise and now I'm not sure I can ever watch PIT BOSS with a straight face again).

THE RAGE: CARRIE 2:
Amy Irving returns to this weak sequel for Stephen King's CARRIE as the high school's counselor who is trying to save another telekinetic girl from wreaking havoc on the school's bullies and snobs. This would be a much better movie if it wasn't a sequel to CARRIE. And if they left the whole psycho/move things with my mind bullcrap out of it and just left it as a Romeo and Juliet story with two teens from opposite ends of the school cafeteria falling in love.

TRANSAMERICA:
Felicity Huffman plays a pre-op male to female transsexual who discovers she has a son. Without telling the young man who she really is, the embark on a road trip and bond. This movie is just brilliant and unlike anything I've seen before.

SPIRITED AWAY:
Japanese anime that has the tripping out feel of Alice in Wonderland to it. A little girl is lost and surrounded by the most bizarre creatures, characters, and scenarios. It doesn't really make sense, but you get so lost in the weirdness of the story that you find yourself enjoying it.

SHERRYBABY:
Maggie Gyllenhaal is a recovering drug addict/ex-con/trailer trash type who is released from prison and wants to renew her relationship with her very young daughter. I really wanted to like this movie because Maggie Gyllenhaal was great and I thought a lot of it was very realistic, but the root to Sherry's problem just ruined it for me. I felt the story used the whole molested as a child is an excuse to be an drug addict and loser as a cop out and for once I would like to see some one that is a druggie/piece of work just because they chose that route and not because some one shoved them in that direction.

OLD DOGS:
This movie has so many funny people in it and yet it fails to be funny. It has moments, but these moments just don't come together as a whole movie. Seth Green is wasted in this movie, John Travolta is annoying, and Robin Williams needs to find something with a similar tone but with better writers where as Matt Dillon, Justin Long, Rita Wilson, Ann-Margaret, and the rest of the cameos all need to ask their agents "WTF??" and poor Bernie Mac went to the grave with this as his last role.


ENEMY AT THE GATES:
Fantastic movie set during World War II as Russia and the Nazis battle for Stalingrad. It is a cold, dreary, bleak movie with a great cast such as Jude Law, Rachel Weisz, Joseph Fiennes, Bob Hoskins, and Ed Harris. Not sure how much is true, but it still makes a great war movie and the tension between the Russian Hero Sniper (Jude Law) and the Nazis' greatest sniper (Ed Harris) as they hunt for each other is intense at times.

Friday's Five Favorites...It's The End of The World

It's the end of the world as you know it. The Earth is barren. Water is scarce. Disease and Zombies run amuck. Alien crafts fly above. Any idea is possible. And you are in the fight for life. You want to survive. Who do you want by your side? On your team? Who do you want to help with the fight to survive in this futuristic, dreary, post-apocalyptic world?

It took me some time. But I came with five Movie Characters that I would want standing with me as we kicked Zombie Alien butt. Or hunted and forage for food. These are the ones I want on my team. I call dibs on them.

NUMBER FIVE:
Luther from THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW-

So, you might be scratching your head...thinking "who?" No, it's not Jake Gyllenhaal or Dennis Quaid (sadly for me, I did not chose Dennis Quaid). No, I choose Luther, the black homeless man with the dog that rides it out in the library. It's really quite simple and very easy to choose him. For starters, he was already homeless before the storms came and ended life in NYC and most of America as we know it. So, he already had a few tricks up his sleeve on how to survive. He knows how to insulate himself against the cold using pages from newspapers and books. I'm pretty sure he knows how to get the tastiest morsels from trash. And the biggest reason why I want him on my team? He's GOT A DOG!!!! Everyone knows that the one who always survives is the one with the dog. Seriously. I'm sticking with the man with the dog.

NUMBER FOUR:
The Terminator for TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY-

"Come with me if you want to live." Yep. That's all I need. Plus he will protect you with his own body as a shield and go to no ends to make sure you stay alive. He's a cyborg. So, no matter how many hits he take, he will keep on kicking ass. And he'll look so bad ass too with half his face peeled away to reveal his robotic skull and glowing red eye. And cyborgs don't eat do they? So that means you don't have to feed him. Do they eat? I'm geeky, but not geeky enough to know that. Please feel free to reveal the inner geek in you if know if cyborgs eat or not and comment down below.

NUMBER THREE:
Fox from WANTED-

This girl can kick ass!! She can drive a car like it's no one's business (and pick you up without even stopping!). She can curve a bullet. She's got neat little gadgets and gizmos like that gun that can bend and she can shoot from around the corner. She can survive all sorts of stunts. And she's got some sort of formula for a bath that will heal you quicker than any doctor or hospital every could. I'll never have to worry about hunting, running from Zombies, or being so injured that it would be beyond repair if she was on my team. Plus, Fox knows when to take one for the team.

NUMBER TWO:
Doctor Carlisle Cullen from the TWILIGHT SAGA-

And there's the sound of hundreds of teen girls and Twi-Moms and maybe a few gay men gasping. NOT EDWARD? No. Not Edward. As a matter of fact if this was a list of the Five Top Movie Characters I Would Push Off A Cliff If Left Alone With At The End Of The World...Edward just might be on that list.
No...I chose Dr. Carlisle Cullen because he's not moody, brooding, or heart sick. Carlisle seems intelligent, mature, so not annoying. But most importantly...he's a Doctor AND a Vampire. Doctor AND a Vampire!!!
This means that he's got hundreds of years of medical experience under his belt. He goes back to primitive methods of medicine, which is good because in our barren, disease ridden world we might need to go back in time with medical science.
And as a Vampire, he's strong and fast. So, he can pick me up and carry me up on trees or deep into caves or something like that to get away from the Zombies. It'll be so fast that we will look ridiculous. Or he can snap necks and tear limbs from torsos faster than a blink of an eye.
But, the biggest plus of have the Good Vampire Doctor on my team is that if I am so sick or so injured, he has a heart. He won't let me die. He'll just bite me, inject some venom into me, and then the next thing I know I'll be just as strong and fast as him. I'll be Vampire. I won't die. And I'll sparkle like I'm going to a rave too!

NUMBER ONE:
Professor Albus Dumbledore from HARRY POTTER-

Let's face it. The man is a wizard. One of the best Wizards there ever were. With a flick of a wand and a twinkle in his eye, he can make delicious food disappear, make bones mend, turn bad guys into mice, change the weather, and provide a well furnished tent. He's kindly, smart, interesting, and very grandfatherly. He's got the whole time turning spell down so he could turn back time and figure out how to end the Apocalypse before it even begins.
And he can bring Harry along too, but only if Harry is stoned on that Felix Felicis stuff, also known as Liquid Luck. Because then Harry goes from slightly annoying to great frickin' entertainment. Come to think of it, if it's the end of the world I might want some of that Lucky Potion stuff too.
Need I say more?

Thursday's Three Line Reviews

So, the computer had a little cold. Off to the computer doctor it went. For two whole weeks. Was not happy about that. I don't like to be without my computer and updating my status on FB is annoying as it is with a Blackberry. I wasn't even going to try and blog from it.

I'll look at the silver lining though. My family and I took a really nice road trip. And I watched movies. Lots of them.

So, without further delay, I give you Thursday's Three Line Reviews. Lots of them.

NOBODY DIES IN LILY DALE-
A documentary about a small town in upstate New York which has the largest population of Spiritualist, Mediums, Psychics, etc. Very interesting as you watch different tourist seek answers from the other side. This little town of Lily Dale is now at the top of my must visit list.

LORDS OF DOGTOWN-
Based on the true story of the original die-hard extreme skateboard culture. Great camera angles and shots, great acting, great 70's vibe. Emile Hirsch is fantastic but it is this movie, not The Dark Knight, that really makes you see what a versatile actor Heath Ledger was.

HOME ALONE-
That classic holiday movie that everyone loved back in the day. It still cracks me up. It was great to rediscover this timeless classic with my kids who adored every scene.

LITTLE DARLINGS-
A late 70's/early 80's movie about a bunch of girls at summer camp who wager a bet over who is going to lose their virginity first. At first I thought it was campy and silly, but by the end of the movie I really liked it. Kristy McNichol and Tatum O'Neal are the stars, but it was great to see Matt Dillon before his S.E. Hinton days and Miranda from Sex and The City fame as a little girl.

CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN-
This movie has so much going for it: scenery, epic, period piece, and great story. Unfortunately, Nicholas Cage's horrible Italian accent made it so bad that I was rooting for anyone and everyone to just kill him when they had the chance. Christian Bale, as always, is pretty amazing in this movie going from a free spirit in love to a man hardened and destroyed by war.

THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE-
This is a Paris Hilton movie that wasn't that great. However...it really wasn't that bad either. If there is absolutely nothing else on and you can't fall asleep and you've searched all there is to search on the web, then by all means go ahead and watch this because you might actually laugh at the sophomoric, gross, idiotic humor.

OBSERVE AND REPORT-
I like Seth Rogan and I love Anna Faris but this movie failed, failed, FAILED!!! Quite possibly the worse movie I saw this year. It tries to be a black comedy and the laughs just are not there and Ray Liotta needs to fire his agent ASAP after this mess and guest starring on Hannah Montana last week.

THE ROAD-
Quite possibly one of the most disturbing, haunting, emotional draining, best movies I have ever seen in a long, long time....maybe ever. This gray, bleak post-apocalyptic movie where all plant and animal life had died off over the years and people have turned cannibalistic was just absolutely horrifying and yet, this is not a horror movie. Viggo Mortensen was amazing as a man fighting to keep his son alive with hope even when his own hope and health is failing and he shows the lengths a parent will go to protect their child, which kept me thinking about this movie for days.

JENNIFER'S BODY-
Campy little horror/thriller with Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried as best friends, one a sexpot and the other a geek. Megan Fox becomes possessed and horny teen age boys begin to get killed off. Nothing great, but was entertaining.

NEWSIES-
Christian Bale in a musical about newspaper boys going on strike in the early 1900's.
Christain Bale + musical = One Happy Movie Junkie. Corny and Disneyfied, but I love it!

MY ONE AND ONLY-
A coming of age/road trip story based on the life of George Hamilton's mother, played by Renee Zellweger. Lots of different actors from television are in this movie. It was cute, but forgettable.

WALK ON THE MOON-
Another Viggo Mortensen movie from which my husband will now forever call him "Blouse Man". Diane Lane is a frustrated housewife vacationing in Upstate New York during the summer of love and has an affair with the "Blouse Man". I really liked this one, but mainly because I really like the era, Diane Lane, Viggo (of course!), and Anna Paquin who played Diane's young teen daughter who was discovering that becoming a woman is much more complicated and doesn't end when you get married.

WHIP IT-
Drew Barrymore directs and co-stars in this movie about a pageant girl who is pressured by her mother and finds an escape by secretly joining a roller derby team. Learned a lot about roller derby rules and actually want to see one live. Ellen Page, Juliette Lewis, and the rest of the cast looks like they had a blast filming this movie.

THE STRANGERS-
At first, this movie is frightening but then quickly began to bore me. Liv Tyler plays a young woman who is trapped with her boyfriend in a secluded summer home and tormented by three quiet strangers wearing masks. After awhile, I found myself wondering when the killers were just gonna do the job already.

APPALOOSA-
And yet, another Viggo Mortensen movie. Also starring Ed Harris, this movie is a quiet, simple western that I found very enjoyable. The only thing that annoyed me was Renee Zellweger who's character was predictable and she looked like her collar was on too tight.

NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS-
A holiday movie based on a Chicago/Puerto Rican family where the father has a secret, the mother wants a divorce, one son just came back from Iraq, the daughter is a struggling actress, and the other son's Jewish Wife is out of place. Sounds like a real Christmas to me. I enjoyed this one and it is filled with great actors and actresses like Alfred Molina, Elizabeth Pena, John Leguizamo, Debra Messing, Freddie Rodriquez, and more.

EXTRACT-
I love Jason Bateman and I love Mila Kunis, so I really wanted to love this movie. It tries so hard to be witty and quirky, but I actually had to watch it in segments just to get through it and I very rarely do that. You know a movie is not that great when Gene Simmons is the best part of the movie.

FRIENDLY FIRE-
A 1978 movie that I remember seeing on t.v. years ago. Carol Burnett and Ned Beatty play the parents of a Vietnam soldier who was killed during the war and they are trying to find out just how he was killed only to be met with silence. Carol Burnett is brilliant in this as she reminds us that she's just not one of the funniest ladies there ever was, but could also hold her own when it came to drama.

WITHOUT A PADDLE-
I expected a low-grade, vulgar humor type comedy with this movie and was pleasantly surprised that it was a genuinely witty, charming movie. Three childhood friends are reunited as adults when their fourth buddy dies and decide to fulfill their dreams of going into the wilderness to find a lost treasure. It was The Goonies grown up and downsized, but it was still cute and Burt Reynolds steals the show.

REMEMBER THE DAZE-
It's the last day of school and Seniors want to party and get high and freshmen want to explore the high school world and get high. I liked this movie the first time around when it was called DAZED AND CONFUSED. It tries so hard to be as cool as Dazed and Confused, even having the word DAZE in the title, but it fails because D and C is just about one of the coolest stoner movies ever made.


Out of all the above movies, I have to say if you can rent one...and you have the head for it, pick THE ROAD. I have never seen anything like this movie and I don't know if I ever will. This story stayed with me for days. I had to sleep with the light on that night. It made me think of how we take so much for granted. It made me hug my kids tighter and promise them a trip to Disney World soon.

Like I said, if you do decide to rent THE ROAD, make sure you have the head for it. It is haunting. Gut wrenching. Bleak. Gritty. Gray. Heavy. But a fantastic movie nonetheless.