Day of Sorrow

Today is Good Friday. A day of mourning. A day of sorrow. When I was a kid this was a big week to watch the mini-series Jesus of Nazareth on t.v. I always remember it being on this time of year. I searched the guide for it this year and I can't seem to find it. I can't seem to find anything to do with the Easter Story on t.v. this year. I suppose if I want to bring back the tradition of watching Jesus of Nazareth I am going to have to purchase the movie myself.

Since it is a day of mourning, I tried to remember the last movie that made me cry. Really made me cry. A movie that has put me so down in spirit that even after it was over I could not shake the heavy sadness from my heart. If I thought of the movie in detail, I would start crying all over again.

It's Marley and Me. Yes...the movie with Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston. Cute, witty movie about a yellow lab with the very predictable outcome. Marley and Me is complete torture for me to watch. It sends me into a slobbering mess and hangs over me for hours...days.

I try to avoid dog movies at all cost. Every movie about a dog pretty much ends the same way. In some way or another, the dog meets it's maker by the end. Ever since Old Yeller, Hollywood just loves to take a lovable little pooch, form a loving bond with it and its master(s), make you love it, and then...rip your heart out.

I'm a huge dog lover. Had dogs my whole life. From a little Cairn Terrier that Santa gave me to my latest rescue mutt. Dogs are great. Dogs are loyal. Dogs are lovable. Dogs are everything Hollywood builds them up to be and more. Dogs truly are man's best friend.

I first heard about Marley when it was just a book. Everyone was reading it. Everyone was recommending it to me. Knowing it was about a dog and that it was a true story, I stayed as far away from that book as possible. This woman who loves a good violent movie just can't stomach a dog story.

Then they made the movie. The trailers looked so cute. Oh look, it's a goofy little puppy. Oh look, it's goofy Owen Wilson being all goofy with the goofy little puppy. There's Owen chasing that little puppy on the beach as that puppy runs and runs all full of life and puppy energy, grinning in that puppy way. You can practically smell that adorable puppy smell. The trailers made me want to run out and get a yellow lab ASAP.

The trailer, however, made me stay as far away from the movie as possible. I knew the inevitable. I knew what happens to that cute, adorable, goofy little yellow lab. Everybody knows what happened to Marley. Couldn't they just let it be? Just move on? They had to make a movie about it?

And then, it happened. It was on HBO early one morning, not to long ago. I tried to ignore it and put something else on. The View. Rachel Ray. CNN. Anything but Marley and Me. But, for some reason I decided that I would be a glutton for punishment. And I watched it.

At the time, I only had two dogs. I was alone with the kids in school and DH at work. So it was just me and my papillion and my schnauzer...on the couch...all alone...braving Marley and Me.

Marley and Me is actually a wonderful movie that all dog owners can relate to. It's not so much about a dog as it is about a family in which the dog is part of. And everyone one of us who has ever made a puppy a part of their family could relate to the different stages of life that Marley goes through. Those cute but tiring puppy days where they eat everything and anything. The decision to fix a dog and feeling the guilt, but knowing it's the right thing to do. Those little moments that create memories with the dog and gives the dog its own personality and makes it YOUR dog. You know that there is no other dog like your dog. And those final moments in a dog's life...the hardest moments...the moments where you have to make one of the hardest decisions of your adult life as a dog owner...the moments where you have to say good-bye and assure yourself that not only is it for the best, but that your dog is grateful for you and everything you've done for it, including those final moments.

The movie pretty much ended with me crying out my dogs' names as I clung to them and they looked at me like I was completely nuts. I had been there. We had that big, goofy pup. His name was Reggie. He was a rescue mutt, most likely Black Lab, maybe Doberman and Shepard. A little bit of this and a little bit of that, but a whole lot of love.

Reggie was our first commitment. DH and I adopted Reggie when we were just dating. We committed to that dog before we committed to each other. He was our first baby. Our first real responsibility for another life. We watched him grow from the naughty little puppy to a 93 lb. bundle of energy and love. He gave us kisses and joy. He gave us happiness and memories. He chewed holes in the wall and ate our bed.

Reggie had the world's most expensive dog house. When DH and I decided to move in together, we could not find an apartment that would let us keep Reggie. In the end my parents' decided to put in a semi-basement apartment for us. After months of digging out the basement and making it into a beautiful little apartment, DH and I and Reggie had a place to call our own.

Reggie was part of our lives for almost five years. He was there when we left for our honeymoon and there with a wagging tail when we came back. He was there when we went through a very dark time in our lives and he was there when we were blessed with our two babies, our most joyous times.

Unfortunately, Reggie did not make it to his fifth birthday. He had started to become sick. We tried medicines, but it just wasn't working. In the end, the vet told us that Reggie had served his purpose and his time had come. Reggie would never get to frolic in the yard with our kids.

Watching Marley and Me bought back all those memories of Reggie, good and bad. And I cried for the rest of the day. And still, I cry if I even think about certain scenes in Marley and Me. When DH came home from work that day and I tried to talk to him about the movie, the tears would flow again and he would laugh at me.

Marley and Me had such an impact on my emotions that I somehow managed to go in the opposite direction. I think most people would not want a dog or another dog after watching that movie. They would not want to go through the heart ache that comes with owning a dog. I saw it as a reminder that the world is filled with unwanted and unloved dogs. Shelters are overflowing. I read somewhere that because of the economy shelter drop offs are up something like 25 percent. Dogs and cats are being put to sleep before they are even available for adoption because shelters just don't have the room or the budget to keep them.

So, if you look at my profile picture, you will see Lola. A shelter dog. I somehow managed to convince DH that yes...we need a third dog. No, actually we didn't need a dog. A dog needed us. DH disagreed and insisted I was nuts, but he took me to the shelter to "browse". When they bought out Lola I saw it immediately. DH's eyes softened and he tried to fight the smile that was slowly growing on his face. Without looking away from the wriggly, over excited puppy he said "She looks just like Reggie did." I knew right then and there that she was going to come home with us.

No one forgets that first dog that they own as an adult. That first dog had such an impact that John Grogan chose to write about his. The wonderful Marley.