2012 is a movie that is so bad...it's good. It's a never ending chase scene that begins with our hero (John Cusack??!!??) racing against an earthquake in a limo, continuing the race in a small, tiny plane, racing against a volcanic blast in a camper, racing against toxic ash clouds in more planes, racing against a tsunami...racing, racing, racing, racing....are you tired yet? It just didn't seem to end! I always pictured the world going out with a big bang. If it means earthquakes, then shiftings of the earth's plate, then volcanic eruptions, followed by the ash clouds, then waiting for the tsunamis to arrive...please understand if I just put myself out of my misery half way through all that waiting and racing.
The one thing that had me at the edge of my seat was the tsunami scenes. Not because it was done so well or you felt for the actors. All tsunami scenes have me sweating. Tsunamis is one of my top three irrational fears (the other two being snakes and the fish tank aisle at Petland Discount. Don't ask.)
I don't remember when it began. Most likely in my late teens. I began to have recurring nightmares of tidal waves. Of the big one. It is now at the point where I cannot dream of being anywhere near water without it turning into this horrible, drowning nightmare. Because I tend to spend many vacations and trips right next to the water, these dreams come often. The water is a big part of my life.
The dreams always start the same. Maybe I'm in Montauk. Maybe I'm at a cabin we frequent near Orient Point. Where ever it is, I'm next to a body of water and I begin to panic because I notice the waves are getting more frequent and more rough. I try to warn people, but no one is listening. Everyone thinks I'm crazy (which isn't far from the truth, actually). Sometimes, the area begins to flood, the water choppy. And then...it happens...the water begins to recede, and recede, and recede until there is nothing but miles of wet sand ending with a towering wall of water rushing back at us. And there is no where to run.
It's awful. The dreams are so awful that I don't like to be on the beach at night. Can't see if the water is pulling back in the dark. It's so bad that one time DH and I spent the night in a hotel, right on the beach and I had to sleep in the bed furthest away from the water. You know...just in case.
The scariest big wave movie I ever saw? The Patriot with Mel Gibson. I know you are scratching your heads and thinking "There are no tidal waves in The Patriot" and you are right. But, I saw The Patriot up in the mountains at an old Drive-In Theater. A large lot shared about four movie screens. We had Mel Gibson and Heath Ledger in front of us. At one point during the movie, I happen to glance in my side mirror. My heart went in my throat as I saw this wave coming at us. And of course, the little print on the mirror reminded me that objects are closer than they seem.
I calmly reminded myself that there was no way a wave was coming in the middle of the New York Mountain range. George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg appeared in the mirror to remind me that the wave I was seeing was nothing more than the movie playing behind us. A Perfect Storm.
I had seen A Perfect Storm about a week before, in a normal movie theater. I had wanted to run up the aisle screaming when that big, dark wave came. I had seen Deep Impact in the comforts of my own home and had to bury my head under blankets when the waves crush the cities.
And The Poseidon Adventure and the remake Poseidon? Well, there's a reason why I don't do cruises. AT ALL!
And now I can add 2012 to my list of movies that, even though it's corny and awful with John Cusack (really? John Cusack???) running and racing for two and a half hours, that FREAK ME OUT when the waves comes. I can take horror. I can take blood and gore. I can take violence. Just keep the waves the heck away from me!!
I'm not saying I'm afraid of the water. I love the water. The ocean, the lake, the bay, all beautiful things. I can get on a boat (not a cruise ship..but a normal boat). I'm just prepared. If the water begins to recede, I'm outta there so fast and looking for the tallest tree to climb on the biggest hill. And I'm taking a dog with me. Any dog. Doesn't even have to be mine. Everyone knows that the one with the dog always survives these disaster movies, so I'm taking a dog with me.
I mean, really....this doesn't freak you out:
While I'm on the topic of tsunamis in movies, a great made for HBO movie was made back in 2006 called Tsunami: The Aftermath. This is a movie based on the real tragedy that happened years ago where hundreds of thousands of lives were lost. I had to force myself to watch the movie because it was real. It was not about the campy actors, corny lines, and showcasing FX. It was an emotional movie that drained me, but the acting was beyond amazing. Tim Roth and Toni Collette were brilliant, but Chiwetel Ejiofor and Sophie Okonedo's portrayal of parents searching for their little girl were heart breaking, touching, and just simply some of the best acting I had ever seen. Coincidentally, Chiwetel Ejiofor is in 2012 and I can't help but wonder why he chose this movie alongside with John Cusack. (Really? John Cusack in an action flick???)
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